I’m a drama queen and a liar. I didn’t go for the cookie dough after all. I went for the 100 calorie snack pack of chocolate crispy things instead. Here’s why:
One square of pre-made cookie dough has 180 calories (the same as the one medium-sized cookie it would make in the oven, should I continue to resist the temptation to eat the dough). The snacks had only 100 calories, and had greater bulk than the tiny cookie dough square. So I figured I’d feel more satisfied with eating more, rather than eating less of what I will probably eat later anyway, after I log off.
It’s weird to be writing something that I know nobody is reading. I’m still a little cautious about people actually coming across this site and realizing who wrote it.
But then I realized how general I’ve been, so it’s not a likely problem. And then I realized that bc I was so general in my previous post, I probably know a LOT of people who fall into one of the three categories of people I’ve laid out (insecure dumbasses, selfish stupidos, and bastard liars), not just the three people I had in mind at the time of writing.
Assuming all of humanity can only fall into one of these three groupings, I’d say I sometimes fall into the first. But, wow, I feel like I know (and work with!) a lot of people in the third category. And no, it’s not just me and my delusions of being better than others. I’ve had lengthy discussions with other coworkers about the nature of certain other fellow coworkers. Maybe there is something about my company or field that attracts people with this problem of “two-faced liarism with a smile”???
Should I start acting this way? Is this the secret to getting ahead? Pretend to hear, listen to, agree with, and understand coworkers… and then screw them over? Ah. Like the John Lennon song, “Working Class Hero”:
There’s room at the top/ they’re telling you still
But first you must learn how to smile when you kill.
Not that anyone has attempted to kill me, and I certainly don’t have a murderous agenda of any kind. And even without any killing, I already feel like my job is something of an ethical compromise (for me personally… most people would not be bothered by it in the least). If I had to kill people to move up….
Which is probably the only way in my case, come to think of it. I report to someone dubbed a “career loser”… many many years in the same company with little or no advancement. No matter how hard I work or how much I excel at my job, I will never be able to be promoted until the person above me is promoted. Since this other person’s promotion seems to be such an unlikely event, I am already thinking about what I want to be doing (differently) in the next few years of career life.
Also, it’s good to have a plan B for when things fall to shit.
Really craving that cookie dough.
Maybe mix a cocktail instead? A Cookie Dough martini sounds like something that might kill two birds with one stone, but I have no idea how to make that particular dream come to fruition.
I should go to bed. I am so fucked, my sleep cycle is way way way off. I guess that’s what the Internet is for. Insomnia. And porn.
I also used to use the Internet for day trading, duirng the 1990s. That was pretty cool. Could use some of that moolah right now.
I get insomnia every six months or so. It’s pretty sucky. It’s not even that I can’t sleep, but I just don’t want it enough. Maybe if there were a pill that guaranteed awesome dreams, I’d want to sleep. I would take that pill every single day. I guess that’s why some people are constantly stoned. I’m too busy to be stoned.
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So it’s about 3am, mid-week. Lack of sleep, crappy work stuff, broken heart I’m trying to ignore…
Yup. Welcome to the greatest blog of all time. Very original, I know.
Trying to resist eating ten tons of junk food or writing inappropriate emails to make myself feel better. Thought the new blog might help/distract.
I hate how one or two small things (or people) can so easily ruin one’s day (and evening, and the following morning, as it were). Stupid people who are liars or selfish or both. People who are insecure and then act like idiots. People who don’t deliver on their words. People who suck and continue to suck and have no interest in self-improvement.
Three people are bugging me right now.
-One has a serious character flaw that results in some really dumbass behavior (I’m not saying I am flaw-free by any means, but I think I limit my dumbass behavior when at work!).
-Second person continues to act both selfishly and cluelessly, but whose fault is it that s/he has not “lived and learned” yet? Well, maybe s/he is an idiot, and therefore not responsible for her/his actions. I’m still debating that one internally. It’s the broken heart factor that keeps me from being clear-headed.
-Third person is a flat-out deceptive bastard. Kind (etc) to one’s face, but a different story when talking to others or while waiting for following-up on words exchanged in private.
First person acts our of insecurity, so actions are almost forgivable.
Second person acts of our selfishness, which is not forgivable. But there is also the stupidity factor. But which came first, the stupidity or the selfishness? I think the answer is important.
Third person is slimey and not to be trusted. <Note to self on that one.>
Funny story: I have a friend who only calls me when she needs something (help moving, stuff like that). Today she asked me for advice because she has another friend who is always and only asking her for help, and she doesn’t know what to do about it.
That, friend, is the definition of irony.
Oh! Just realized that first person (above) also deals with slimy person (above). Maybe s/he has also fallen victim to said slimeball, and took it out on me? It’s possible. Hmm.
I wish I had a fool-proof, go-to trick up my sleeve for cheering myself up. A year ago, I may have emailed Stupid/Selfish person (above), but now I want nothing to do with said person. A year ago, the responding email from that person would have been very comforting and uplifting. Now I find emails from said stupid selfish jerk to be.. well, stupid and selfish. And boring. Blah blah blah about the other person, no interest in me or my life. Then why keep contacting me?!?! Leave me alone! There is a reason you always go straight to voicemail, dummy!
Screw it. I’m going to eat some cookie dough. Because I can. 
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